It’s been a while since I last blogged, I’ve had a lot of stuff going on mentally and I lost motivation to continue writing.
BUT IM BACK.
So over the past two weeks, everything’s really been a struggle. I had problems with my anxiety and my emetophobia which made it impossible for me to do anything as that was continuously holding me back. Probably didn’t help that I didn’t tell anyone about how I was feeling apart from my girlfriend, she’s been a real support though through everything!
So everything got to the point where I couldn’t hold it anymore and ended up breaking down, not my finest hour haha. With getting some help from my doctor, I feel so much more on track and better about myself then I did before. Before I felt so down about myself, nothing made me happy anymore and I just point blank didn’t want to be here which is an awful feeling when you know you have people around you that love and care for you but all you can think of is how much better it would be if you were no longer breathing.
If it wasn’t for my great nan, I probably would still be struggling to live everyday. She told me her thoughts on what she thinks will make me better, because clearly staying where I am is doing anything but now. I need a fresh start with new people and to experience life. With that being said, in just over a week my gorgeous girlfriend and I will be moving to Scotland for 7 months to work, live and explore.
I’ve never been so excited for a new adventure and to finally start gaining more confidence and focus on myself so that I’m no longer having the thoughts that get me down. We will be living in the countryside not far from the famous Ben Nevis, lucky us! I’m so nervous for this fresh start but also itching with excitement as this could finally be the thing that pushes me to become whatever I want to be. I need this for my mental health but also for a healthy future. I’m also going to carry on blogging whilst we are up there, updating you all on the adventures that we get up to but also to update you on what life is like moving from the South of England to North of Scotland.
I hope you’ll enjoy the blogs as much as I enjoy writing them, you’re with me on this journey and I can’t wait to take you with me. Who knows what might happen after them 7 months?
See you soon Scotland😊
From the girl in the South x